Oh my God.  Or as most Second Life residents would say, OMG.  I look like a freak or a something that dropped out of some bad hippie movie from the seventies.  I’ve just been rezzed and popped into what could only be described as n00b island.  This will not do.  There is no way I’m going to go around looking like this, and worse there are at least a dozen more clones just like me.  This will not do.

The Narrator has wisely sent off an email to an acquaintance she knows who is in Second Life for tips.  Cleverly disguising the fact that she is already in Second Life, realizing that maybe being anonymous might be a good idea here….

After a while of working on the mechanics of how the client works and how to get around, I’m getting the hang of this.  This is a lot like Doom or Quake.  Except there’s no BFG and no monsters to kill.  Hmmm, at least none that I’ve seen, and I look ugly.  Well, this is getting boring on n00b island, I might as well leave this paradise of n00bness and join what everyone is calling “the grid”.

It sounds scary out there, away from this safe island of n00bness.  Us clones might not be safe there.  Then their are these ominous warnings of never being able to return here.  It could be dangerous out there.  What if I get attacked? Hmmm. Well, I might as well bite the bullet and go into the real world, err, second world.

Bravely I hit the kiosk to teleport into the main grid.  It was the Bear sim.  It was night.  And the teleport sound the client made sounded very similar to Quake or Doom or something like that in my past and for a moment I thought….

Shit, I’m not armed!  Where’s my gun?!?  I’m gonna get killed here.  I forgot to practice with weapons.

Then I relaxed for a moment. Suddenly I saw someone walking nearby. She was beautiful, she had what appeared to be real hair, skin that did not look like it was made of plastic, clothes that did not come from Goodwill’s reject bin, and she even walked like a woman should walk.

Then panic really set in. OMG, I need a paper bag for my head.  I look like a total dork. Save me from myself. Kill me now. Strip me naked.  Oh no, she is coming near me, she’s going to talk to me. Oh my God, I can’t believe I look like this. This is so embarrassing.  Run away!  Hide! Find a paper bag!

Suddenly there was that sound of an incoming webmail….  Oh, it was my friend.  An email some odd locations of places to get things, these SURLs, in a nice list of things to get…  Hmmm, shopping?  Oh, I get it.  I can buy my way to beauty.  I notice that up on top of the client there is clever little $ spot up in the corner of to put more quarters into the machine.  How convenient.  They make this so easy.  I whip out my Visa card, and it is already its shaking with anxiety.  I say to it, don’t worry, it looks like most everything here is inexpensive.  This won’t be that bad.  Twenty five dollars should be plenty to get all I need here.  

I can see this is important to get fixed up right now.  After all, this is not very expensive, a few cups of coffee or maybe a movie.  Besides, this is fun, and it’s nothing like that Worlds of Warcraft those nerds in the office spend all of their free time playing.

I start working on the list….  First off, a shape.  Mmmmm, a shape, I might like this Second Life.

Next up, gawking in the meat market.

-Veyron