Slice Me Up
I’m sure this has happened to most of you. You make a “friend”. Exchange cards. Maybe you talk to this person now and then, or whatever. Then some day you realize, they are no longer on your friend list. They’ve cut up your card.
I can’t really recall cutting up any card from an avatar I’ve exchanged with. I have heard that some avies prune their friends list now and then. What do you do? Do you prune your list?
Do you try to find out why they cut your card? Let them go? It seems to be an area of etiquette in Second Life that has no Real Life counterpart.
-Veyron
July 31st, 2007 at 11:54 pm
In my 2+ years of being in SL, I have never “pruned” my friends list … I see no real reason to, personally.
Unfortunately, I can relate to Slice Me Up though, since I have seen names disappear from my friends list in the past.
When that happens (and its rather rare, I’ve found), I usually confront them. So far, I’ve been given good reasons as to why they removed me — and in a few cases they re-added me to their list.
Real Life analog to the etiquette or not, it seems it should be part of the protocol — if there’s a mutual exchange in order to be added to each other’s friends list, there should be a mutual exchange/understanding to be removed.
I think SL should inform us in a roundabout way, rather than us suddenly noticing that a name is missing.
Much like we see “[Friend] is Online.” flash across the screen, there should be some sort of notification, say, “[Friend] has been removed from your Friends List.”
August 1st, 2007 at 1:38 am
I’ve removed people from my friends list without notifying them, but it’s always been the case that it was someone with whom I never talked and whose friendship I accepted because I didn’t really know how to decline it. I think in every case, it’s been a guy who offered me friendship almost immediately after meeting me.
The only time I can remember someone removing me without letting me know is one guy who offered friendship early on and then wanted me to be an escort for him. I didn’t mind seeing that friendship go
August 1st, 2007 at 2:21 am
I should prune my f/list. There are too many names that I don’t contact, nor they contact me, nor I do have an idea who those people are. As chloe said, boys that ask for friendship but never got the courage (or interest or whatever) to IM me after that, noobs that ask you a question or two, add you and then go never to come back or to IM.
If we don’t communicate regularly, I don’t see the point of being on f/list. Btw, if somebody prune you from the f/list the contact is not lost. You still have the calling card of that person in your inventory in calling cards folder.
August 1st, 2007 at 5:30 am
“Much like we see “[Friend] is Online.” flash across the screen, there should be some sort of notification, say, “[Friend] has been removed from your Friends List.”"
That is an interesting point of view of Tweeze. Not a bad idea, so we can see who is removing us from their list.
Personally, I have never removed someone, but I remember, having looked for someone, who wasn’t on the list anymore. Don’t know why, as the person in question said not to have removed me from his list. So he added me directly back on the list.
Although there are some avatars on my list, who I should remove, as I doubt if they are still on the grid once and a while.
August 1st, 2007 at 9:50 am
I will trim my friends list once in a while, but it will be people who for some reason or another we just never talk or we never see each other online. It is pointless to have someone on your friends list that really is not a friend. Plus I doubt that they will even notice your name is gone from your list.
I never hide when I am online, I wonder about the whole thing of people having friends, but checking the not see online option in their list.
August 1st, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I basically second everything that Dandellion has said.
I do periodically trim my friends list, and I don’t warn people beforehand. More often than not, it’s someone that has never even bothered to talk to me beyond the initial meet, and in a couple of cases, I’ve had strangers IM me, talk to me, then send a friend request without ever even meeting me in person!
My friends list is for people whom I will communicate with on a frequent basis and/or people I am close to in SL and in the world of SL blogging, usually.
August 1st, 2007 at 4:26 pm
i do trim my list also about every month actually, i dont like to keep a big friends list and i having people in my list that never talk to me makes me angry.
if i see someone in my list that never talks to me and that i have nothing to say too or that has no skills that could be useful to me i remove them from my friends list and i dont tell them before hand. in my mind i dont have to justify what i do.
also i dont like the term “cutting their card” because in fact when you remove someone from the friends list their calling card is still in your inventory so its in fact not “cut” when i remove someone i’ll usually keep their card, just in case i need it again in the futur.
August 2nd, 2007 at 5:44 am
Ok, maybe i’m not polite but i deleted maybe a couple of Friends without notification. Once because was a quick offer i accepted because sometimes is hard to refuse(as Chloe), the other time was an really old friend i think he is “offSL” forever. Of course i always keep Cards.
August 2nd, 2007 at 6:03 am
i do trim my list also about every month actually, i dont like to keep a big friends list and i having people in my list that never talk to me makes me angry.
if i see someone in my list that never talks to me and that i have nothing to say too or that has no skills that could be useful to me i remove them from my friends list and i dont tell them before hand. in my mind i dont have to justify what i do.
Yep, that’s exactly how I feel too.