So Law and Order: SVU has a show with a virtual world in it. And surprise, surprise, anyone who uses or plays in it is a sicko. I didn’t bother watching it because the plot was predictable, but Zoe did, and confirmed my suspicions. Of course now, we all are kinda perverted in a normal sick sort of way. But in a much better healthier out in the virtual open way. So let’s compare Second Life to Real Life.

Real Life has life and death

Second Life has prim babies that look like Pokemons and if you die you get teleported home.

Real Life has violent crimes

Second Life’s idea of a violent crime is giant penis’s being virtually flung at you on stage, embarrassing you.

Real Life has finiancial crimes and fraud

 Anyone dumb enough to believe they were going to get 400% return on an investment with no risk….  well, you knew better, didn’t you?

Real Life has cops, lawyers and judges

Second Life has none….  ummm, but we do have Linden Labs (how do we get those cops, lawyers and judges now?)

Real Life has people starving, homeless, and in poor living conditions

Avatars do not need, food, water, light, or air (even can go into orbit).   They can survive falls from incredible heights.  Survive being thrown in hot lava.  Being folded up like an origami doll.  Even walk around with your hair up your ass.  Wearing shoes from Dark Eden for extended periods of time without permanent back injury.  And dang, they don’t even need to go potty.

Real Life men usually have one orgasm, and roll over and either go to sleep or turn on the TV (or would secretly like to).

 Second Life men enjoy demonstrating their prowess and want to make sure their partner is having a good time and well satisfied.

Real Life primping for a party up can take hours.

Second Life primping involves shopping through your inventory, clicking a few buttons, and waiting for them to rez.  Shoes that would themselves take 20 minutes to put on take 10 seconds in Second Life.

Real Life tanning requires multiple sessions outside or in a tanning studio.

Second Life requires you to change your skins.  And you can decide if you want tan lines or not in seconds.

Real Life criminalizes or ostracizes lots of deviant sexual behavior.

Second Life usually rates it on a sliding quality scale.

Real Life takes itself very seriously.

Second Life tries to take itself seriously, but can never quite wipe the silly smirk off it’s face from the that impossible sexual escapade last night.

Real Life has campers.  Like in national parks and places of great beauty.

Second Life has campers in casinos speakeasies, clubs and empty malls.

Real Life sex carries (albit small now) risk of getting a STD and maybe even dying from it.

In Second Life you might make a mess on or around your computer.

In Real Life if I go into a dangerous place I might get really hurt.

Second Life’s idea of a dangerous place is a sim when you get notice it’s about to be restarted.

Real Life has corporate consumerism fueling massive expenditure of money on lots of frivolous items.

Second Life has mom & pop consumerism fueling massive expenditure of  a toy currency on lots of frivolous virtual items.  (Okay, I think that one is a wash….)

But let’s be clear, to paraphrase the NRA, avatars don’t make perverts, people make perverts.  And since I’m an avatar, I’m in the clear.  (I like that logic…)

-Veyron