So, I came across this humorist post about growing up, and yes, it was disturbing.  But rather than dwell on the posting, Veyron though she should answer the posting….

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.

My plants are all dead.  They are not even plastic, they made of pixels.  No, you can’t smoke any of them (hmmmm, maybe I need to go shopping…), but some do have alternative uses….

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.

Where are my cuffs?

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

I don’t have any food, in fact, well, I don’t really eat.  But I guess I have sort of drunk before.  I do know that Vint had a bender at least once….

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.

Sleep?  I never sleep, except when I logoff.

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

Don’t ride elevators, I fly.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

It’s always sunny, at least until the new sky software is implemented.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “breakup.”

Hmmm…  Might be caught on this one, but they all pretty much do all of the above…  but at a might higher rate of speed.

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

I’m on permanent vacation.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”

I have more clothes than Barbie.

10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.

Crank it up baby!

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

There was a man from Nantucket….

12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.

Yo quiro!  But then again, I don’t eat - but I do wonder when Taco Bell will be opening up a sim and will it give you indigestion.

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

Ohhhh….  I wonder how many tickets I would have by down if I did drive and they did have SLcops.

14. You feed your dog “Science Diet” instead of McDonald’s leftovers.

No dog, but then again, maybe I need a furry.

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.

I have slept hanging upside with cuffs on….

16. You take naps.

Only when I crash.

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

Dinner and a movie?  Gee, that would be something new in SL for moi….

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at three in the morning would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

Again, don’t eat, but then if I did, I could probably eat anything.  Well, let me rephrase that.  I don’t eat food.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.

I do have some Seclimine….

20. A four dollar bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good shit.”

Hmmm…  Any wine I’d get would probably be less than four dollars at the current exchange rate….

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.

Cold pizza?

22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”

Gee, where do I find these parties?

23. Ninety percent of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.

I am only fun.  I can’t help it, I was drawn this way….

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.

Usually the cost is the same, and besides, I can drink as much as I want.

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking “Oh shit what the hell happened?”

Gawd, just detach that prim….

Bonus:

26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that it doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry old ass.

My perfect pixelated ass…. 

 -Veyron